I used to be too good for the Jersey Shore.
I know! I can’t believe it either, but truthfully, I used to judge everyone else for devoting and hour a week to watch drunk, orange people act drunk and orange on national TV. I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere in the middle of season two I got over my “holier than yous” attitude and got curious.
I kind of hate myself for it, but after one episode I was hooked.
I don’t even like “reality” shows, and, really, this is the only one I watch (I swear!). So why do I feel the need to keep up with this alcohol, rage, and bad decision-filled display? I mean, honestly It’s the same story every episode.
This is what usually happened on any given Jerz-day:
Sam and Ron are together, and then there not. And then they are, and then Ron goes off into roid-rage land, and then they’re not again. Mike creeps on some ugly girls and is generally disgusting. Deena falls down and cries about some poor decision she made last night. Snooki drinks some wine and burps. Vinny and his beard give commentary on the rest of the house, Pauly screams “YEAH BUDDY” thirty times, and Jenny adjusts her boobs like this:
and remains the only one with a functioning brain.
And really that’s about it…give or take a few swings thrown and/or random girls in random beds throughout the house.
It’s weirdly exciting. Maybe it’s a vicarious thing. Maybe I love analyzing the sickness of Ron and Sam’s on/off non-relationship. Maybe I like to judge the random girls who come back to the house for one night stands (Don’t they know their parents can see this?). Maybe I just enjoy how stupid everyone is while hopped up on Redbull and vodka at 4 in the morning.
Whatever it is, they got me. Jerz-day is like the official start of my weekend. It permission to down shots of whatever is around and then look like a jackass while fist pumping the night away yelling CABS ARE HEEEEREEE. It’s a time to forget about class, work, general rules for living ,and watch pseudo-glamorous people live pseudo-glamorous lives and feel pseudo-glamorous right a long with them.